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Today I had a diagnose by my neurologist that has made my decision to withdraw from competing in 2015 final.
- I attempted to accomplish some things in Brazil that faced serious opposition by forces that benefitted from the way things were (basically, delinquent). The reactions didn’t come as rational discussions, but rather systematic attacks, sabotage, etc. This type of thing overtaxes a person’s stress response
- One of their favorite has been false accusations (with formal threat letters deposited in registries) that, with the appropriate incentive to shady cops, evolve into police investigations. Such investigations obviously conclude the accusations were false, but I can’t sue back due to the wording of the original document (not a real “accusation” but rather a “suggestion”). At each instance, I receive threatening documents, I spend about 2 thousand dollars in attorney fees (nobody is crazy to go to a police station in these situations without a lawyer) and about 50 hours of my time. I’m now in the third of these clown acts.
- Our small continued education program grew. There were attacks. For me, who taught for a lifetime and never had a complaint by a student, it was a blow. I naively considered teaching a sacred realm, immune to dirty play.
- These things caused a complete hormonal mess, I lost 50% of my hair (stress…), I acquired new injuries and they never healed. Finally, during a rack pull, they ripped open from the pubic bone down the adductor and up the rectus abdominalis covering 1/3 of my body, with partial tendon disinsertion.
- Some people abused my hospitality during the recovery period to the level of delinquency. Maybe some of you will understand that such situations are a heavy blow, too, since you revise your concept about human nature, friendship, solidarity, etc. One of them stole my car for 7 hours and laughed about it.
- A myriad of small delinquents are having a ball with my upcoming trip.
- My neurologist explained to me that PTSD patients (I am one) have hyper-active amigdalas in general (that I knew). But in extreme periods of daily stimulation such as this one, it doesn’t turn off after a while (that I did not know). Things from fine movement control to headache or digestion are all compromised. The whole hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis is somewhat screwed up
- According to my neurologist, I need to protect myself from toxic environments, relations and people. The medication I am taking has to be maintained with precision. I need to rest to even begin considering a recovery program.
From that I concluded some things:
- Competing is important, but powerlifting is greater than that to me. I take much pleasure from being a judge and helping the organizers of good meets. I am also very happy as content creator at PLW
- I have accomplished good things. I have broken a historical record, a number of world records, I was champion of champions at RUM and I believe these were good things. My lifting evolved and this is nice. At 52 years old, a few months out of competition really doesn’t mean very much.
- True evil exists. There are people who actually derive pleasure in causing pain to others. And these are not restricted to signature killers: I can make a list of 20 peole right now who I met in the last week, whether personally or digitally
- True good also exists. There are people who will reach out for no reason and expecting no return. There are others who share their happiness with you and have the magical ability of making you happy as if you had lifted, or passed a test, or wrote a poem.
- While some battles expose us to true evil and there is no way out of it, they may be worth the price (in peace, in health or even in a life).
- Family is the set of people you choose to share extremely intimate aspects of your life with. Not necessarily those you have biological ties with.
- I am a fortunate person to be surrounded by many very good people. I am being able to focus on the good, even if my fingers are not that fast (fine movement has been compromised). I am more than fortunate to have the smartest man I ever met, who is also the most honorable (and honor is the value I cherish the most) as my boyfriend, soul mate and brother in arms.
So, basically, I’m not competing but it’s all good. I will be in Atlanta and Las Vegas to help around and I will kick ass (yes, I will lift!!) at RUM 9. I am arriving in the USA on October the 13th and will stay until March.
Thank you to all the special people I share my journey with.